plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize