It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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