You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
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I queefed so loud it echoed.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
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So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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