What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
