Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
