508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
