I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.