so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?