I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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