i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
home. puking in laundry basket.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
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I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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