She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
