he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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