she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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