How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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