I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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