She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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