if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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