I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she smelled like a LAN party
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
