This girl is more easily done than said...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
