In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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