I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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