Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Pants are for mortals
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