nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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