so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
