like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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