i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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