Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize