Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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