he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
