the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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