so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize