He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
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the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
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I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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