You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
