I'm going to jail i love you
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
They are going to name an STD after you.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
