i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
