I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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