Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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