your parents love me but you hate me
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
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Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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