what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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