I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
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Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
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I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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