Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize