Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
