Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My balls are so social today.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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