three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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