So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
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He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
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Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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