I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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