Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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