i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
