just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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