Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
