Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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