I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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