well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
