I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
