dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
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No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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