It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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