Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
