we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
