That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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