I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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